IF...with special thanks to amy carmichael

God has been putting some difficult situations into my life lately, and too often, my first response is one of frustration, caustic words, or self-righteousness. On the other hand, when God brings opportunities to share His truth, His love, and to praise Him for what He has done, I shy away with thoughts like: "They're going to think that I don't know anything." "They won't understand." "They'll think I'm a religious fanatic." This obviously makes me pathetic as a follower of Christ. (Which in turn makes me pretty thankful that it's no longer Jarita who lives, but Christ who lives in me, and the life I live in the body I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me.)

Speaking of loving and giving of himself...

We read verses about love all the time, but I think somewhere along the way I've lost the sense of their real meaning. What is this love of God? How do we know if we are in His love? ...to put it in the words of Amy Carmichael: "What do I know of Calvary love?"

I found this little book on one of my teammates shelves...and here were just a few of the things God used to open my eyes and let me see what He sees...

It's not pretty, but it's necessary.

"If...
I belittle those whom I am called to serve,
talk of their weak points
in contrast with what I
think of as my strong points;
if I adopt a superior attitude,
forgetting 'who made you to
differ? and what do you have that
you haven't received?'
then I know nothing of Calvary love."

"If...
I can write an unkind letter,
speak an unkind word,
think an unkind thought without grief and shame,
then I know nothing of Calvary love."

"If...
in dealing with one who does not respond,
I weary of the strain and slip from under the burden
then I know nothing of Calvary love."

"If...
I am perturbed by the reproach and
misunderstanding that may
follow action taken for the good
of souls for whom I must give account;
if I can commit the matter and go
on in peace and silence,
remembering Gethsemane and the cross,
then I know nothing of Calvary love."

"If...
I am afraid to speak the truth, lest I
lose affection,
or lest the one concerned should
say, "You do not understand,"
or because I fear to lose my reputation for kindness;
if I put my own good name before the other's highest good,
then I know nothing of Calvary love.

"If...
I speak not right things, but smooth things
then I know nothing of Calvary love."

"If...
I fear to hold another to the highest
goal because it is so much easier
to avoid doing so,
then I know nothing of Calvary love."

"If...
though I have this ministry and
have received much mercy, I faint,
then I know nothing of Calvary love."

"If...
monotony tries me, and I cannot
stand drudgery;
if stupid people fret me and little
ruffles set me on edge;
if I make much of the trifles of life,
then I know nothing of Calvary love."

"If...
souls can suffer alongside, and I
hardly know it,
because the spirit of discernment is
not in me,
then I know nothing of Calvary love."

"If...
things or places or people hold me
back from obedience to my Lord,
then I know nothing of Calvary love."

"If...
the praise of man elates me and his
blame depresses me;
if I cannot rest under misunderstanding
without defending myself;
if I love to be loved more than to love,
to be served more than to serve,
then I know nothing of Calvary love."

"If...
I slip into the place that can be filled by Christ alone,
making myself the first necessity to
a soul instead of leading it to
fasten upon Him,
then I know nothing of Calvary love."